Friendship and FOMO

Two weeks ago, I heard about a dinner party that I was not invited to. I immediately had FOMO (Fear of Missing out). This was ridiculous considering I barely knew these people– and there really was no reason to invite me to their dinner party!
 
I have always had FOMO. I think that  FOMO derives from not feeling good enough about yourself. I have always, even way back in middle school, had a lot of friends. I was never teased or excluded. So I think the root of this irrational fear of being left out is steeped in a family tradition that being social is the most important thing. To not be included in a dinner party was tantamount to a disaster.
 
In fact, when I was in graduate school, I wrote an entire paper on how my family defined health and well being through their social calendar. Yeah, you are reading this correctly, I wrote a paper about my family and FOMO!
 
Partially, I have FOMO because my life revolves around being in treatment and I can’t go out all the time. I often don’t have the energy to put into being social. Because of this, Steve bears the brunt of my craziness.
 
And yet, friendship is the glue that keeps life meaningful to me. And I know I don’t have to suffer from anxiety when I am not included. Not only is friendship fun, it is an essential part of my identity. My friendships make me feel like I am on the right track. I love my friends who provide levity as well as depth. There is nothing better than laughing as a distraction from serious things. I also love going on walks, going out to dinner and getting my nails done with friends. I am grateful to each one of you.
 
Ironically, that same weekend of the dinner party FOMO incident, I was up in Sugar Bowl hosting a community fundraiser for the Donner Summit Avalanche Dogs. (I know I know, hilarious!!!)
 
As you know SB is a very important part of my life. I feel connected to the Ski Patrol and am devoted to their dog program.  At the fundraiser there were snow caves made and the dogs had to unbury the person inside of the cave. We gathered at 3 o’clock Sunday afternoon on the top of  the Disney lift. I stood with my friends Tim, Diana and Courtney in awe of the dogs. I felt so happy to be surrounded by my dear friends and proud of our community and our efforts to keep this special program going. I was reminded once again about what is important.
 
Lots of love,
Jessica